Have we forgotten about horses with people problems? I have spent many years watching horses, working with them, trying to figure out horse problems and had clients pay good money to get results. For years, I have checked their tack, shoes, nutrition, previous training issues, behaviours and sometimes, I have felt like a failure because I couldn’t figure it out. I have lost clients due to the fact that they were not push button horses after they left me. I have since figured out, a trained horse can be little more than a trick horse if he is so inclined to be a push button horse. Repeated commands and taps and pressure will eventually get you that horse, but depending on who is pushing the buttons can be the beginning of a story that the horse has been telling you all along and then when the client takes them home the true story comes out and all the push button is gone out of them.
A few years ago, I was working a little pinto mare, Tango, in the round pen and she was progressing nicely. She was a 5 year old that had little work done on her. At the clients request she was at my facility to get ground training so that she could continue with her training at home to become her little, cute riding horse. She wanted her to have all the fundamentals and the “breaking in part” as she described, so that she could work on her and finish her off and get her the way she wanted her to be. At that time in my training, I thought money talks and got her what she wanted. Tango, was an intelligent, quick learning little girl, but she came in like a whirlwind. She tried to kick at you when you tried to pick up her feet, she had never stayed in a stall before, and so she paced constantly and called feverishly to other horses on the farm. I left her in her stall for two weeks with round pen breaks 3 to 4 times a day. I wanted her to get used to people and our everyday activities. After all she was just a cute black and white mare that had been left too long out to pasture. She responded, however, all eager and willing as much as any equine partner would. She eventually allowed me to pick up her feet, as a matter of fact; my farrier trimmed her feet exactly two weeks later. She “joined-up” with me and she accepted everything I threw at her as she had my respect and trust.
After a few weeks, you could hardly tell she was the same little hurricane mare that blew into my barn only days before. She had the true potential to go into any discipline her owner would desire. As soon as she accepted the saddle and weight and reins I requested her owner to come over. At the last two session (which has always been a requirement from me), I needed her owner to be present. I have always believed that these relaxing stress free sessions are the glue to holding a team together. To my dismay, Tango did not respond the way she had in the last week or so. (This has happened many times with other clients as well and this why this was so significant). She had never been head shy and she persistently began shying away from me. I was embarrassed as I had never seen her act this way with me before and thought to myself, what, I am not portraying my normal self and the softness that she had become accustomed to. She kept jerking her head up and down and away from me when I had her owner come into the round pen. So, I then readjusted my body language. I started again by taking in a fresh breath of air, stood up straight and softly smiled (more to myself than the horse to gain confidence) and continued to try to have the owner and I join-up. Tango continued to jerk back and forth and act out, as if she had been hit on her face by me. I kept apologizing to the owner saying that I was certain Tango was ready for her last sessions. It was at this time, the owner confessed to me what had happened to Tango only 2 and half months before.
She explained that there was a terrible rain and wind storm outside in the early spring and all of her horses were brought into the barn for safety reasons. They were each put into individual stalls except for a few that had never been put in stalls before. These horses were put into their open arena for cover for the night. During the night the storm got worse and some of the horses in the arena became incredibly nervous and unmanageable. They kicked at the siding in the arena, ran into the sliding door to try to get back outside, kicked at each other and were sliding and running into each other in a frenzy. It was then that the owner decided to let the 8 young horses outside to fend for themselves in the storm. Tango was the last to go out. When the owner tried to let Tango out, the top portion of the older barn door (the two by six) let go and it crashed down onto Tango and the owner. The lumber hit Tango right on the top of her poll as it came crashing down. At the same time the owner got pinned in between Tango and the two by six, paralyzing her and Tango in an instant of pure terror. After about a minute, she told me, Tango thrashed and eventually got through the sliding doors opening and into the dark. The owner was on the ground with the two by six lying on top of her. She picked herself up, realized she had a gash on her head as well and closed the arena door and went to her husband inside. I watched the owner’s body the whole time she was telling me this. She was slumped over, hands flying all over the place describing what had happened. She displayed nervous energy by blinking her eyes constantly and giving me eye contact and then looking away. Tears were welling up in her eyes as when she finally looked hesitatingly at Tango. The look she gave Tango was almost a look of relief, embarrassment and guilt.
The owner never told me about this story as she did not feel it was relevant to any future training Tango would need. But the biggest part of the story had been missing since the beginning of this story, I tell you now. The owner trained every one of her horses from the ground up herself and would not allow any other person to mess this up. She believed that only she could do all of the ground work and truly have a good riding horse. In the end she had a nervous mental block with Tango and figured that someone else could train her to ride and that she would be ok to put miles on her and that would be the end of story. Tango on the other hand had other plans.
Horses have the unique ability to live in the present. Tango never presented to me that there was a story previous to me working with her. She told me that story when her owner came into the round pen. You could say Tango was living in the past already when she came in as she displayed a lot of nervousness when she first came in. I do not believe this is so. I think when the owner came into my round pen and brought about that nervous energy and defeated body language and Tango told me what had happened. By her jerking her head and shying away and stomping her feet, she was mirroring the energy her owner was owning and portraying and that was the energy she was going to reciprocate back. She was living in that moment, at that time, as soon as the owner entered the pen and retold Tango the story again.
I am truly grateful for that owner telling me her story in words because it made me much more in tune to what our bodies emit as body language. I now listen to the whole story, without prejudice or assumption. I watch the owners tell me in words 7% of the truth of what is really going on. I then find out from both sides and work on both the human and the horse. Tango, has a truly incredible owner, because she stayed on with me for another two weeks and we worked on her more than her horse and all fell into place naturally. They are still a “non-verbal kindred connection” working as a team!
